What is it Like to Tic

Many things provoked my tics; parents and teachers yelling at me, other children teasing me, or simply being near anyone my mind perceived as energetically toxic and negative. These situations caused me to experience unbearable inner pressure since neurologically I was weak and imbalanced.

 After awhile, the storehouse of this built-up subconscious anxiety became too much for me to process any other way than acting it out physically. It was as if this inner energy had teeth and was gnawing its way out of my body.  The only way I could cope was to inflict some physical pain on myself in order to silence these hungry and vicious energetic parasites, or try and “tic” them out. Negative thoughts and perceptions about me and others would enter my emotional and mental body at lightning speed. My inner bodies would contract and heat up like a proverbial pressure cooker. I felt this heat strongly in the areas of my solar plexuses, groin, and neck (three of our main energy centers). My weak nervous system couldn’t adequately handle nor process this strong electrical and imbalanced current of negativity, and so the survival instinct of the body created a physical release valve in the form of tics. Hence, Tourette’s was born.

 My first tics manifested as aggressively scrunching my nose up, squinting my eyes, rubbing the side of my face, shaking my head around, and pinching my groin. Many times, I would blister and cut my face due to the friction created by the constant rubbing of my thumb. That didn’t matter though; the goal was to silence or stop this prickly energy frantically bouncing around inside my groin, stomach, face, eyes, head, and neck, no matter what the cost.  As I got older, my tics changed. I started twisting my neck, cracking my jaw, grinding my teeth, squinting my eyes, sticking out my tongue, stomping my foot on the ground, and clenching my fist. There are millions of different tics, and it all depends on the individual’s unique mind structure what tics will be karmically assigned. No matter the type, all tics cause the sufferer misery.

Whenever I felt the inner restlessness burning in a certain part of my body, I would immediately and viciously attack it via scrunching, rubbing, scratching, and hitting. Even though I received some momentary relief, my fierce reaction made me burn more inside which would cause me to continue striking at it. I could literally spend hours stuck in a masochistic obsessive-compulsive loop, until some other external stimuli grabbed my attention and forced my mind to switch off from these inner energetic knots.

 The worst was when this bristling energy was scattered all over my inner body. In my opinion, that is what creates the standard and stigmatized Tourette case you often hear about or see on TV when people start screaming, cursing, and looking as though they are having a seizure. There is so much loose and frantic energy rolling around in the person’s body that it starts ticcing in a feeble attempt to release this rogue energy. It’s as if ants are simultaneously biting several different parts of your body. It looks funny trying to smack all of them at once, and yet every time you kill one, another would appear right behind it.

 My vocal tics were usually caused when this restless energy was stuck in my throat area. Making weird sounds or saying certain words was an attempt to un-jam and disperse this blocked energy. I believe many of us who have had vocal tics usually say vulgar words because we’re making a subconscious effort to not only disperse knotted up energy inside, but also expressing ourselves emotionally about how we feel to be stuck in such a powerless situation.

 Most anyone who has suffered any chronic mental or emotional issues will readily agree that our energetic system is out of balance. Its electrical currents are chaotically zipping and zooming all over the place. That’s why I stress having a balanced lifestyle so much. I've discovered it's the main prerequisite for restoring an unbalanced energetic system back to normal.